The Fresh Air Interview with Claire B.

Ok, so we’re just pretending here. Terry Gross doesn't know I’m alive. But if she did. . .

Cue snappy music. . . bah de dum de dum!

Terry Gross: From WHYY in Philadelphia. . . This is Fresh Air. I’m Terry Gross. My guest today is Claire B., a sometimes-blogger from the Seattle area, who has surprised —and perhaps relieved—the blogging community by dropping out of the scene for the past five weeks. Welcome to Fresh Air. Thanks for being here.

Me: You’re welcome, Terry. And may I just say that I’ve noticed none of your guests seem to reply with a simple, “you’re welcome,” when you thank them?

TG: Huh. Why no, I haven’t noticed that. (Chuckle) It’s sort of intriguing that you have.

Me: Well, Terry, I can’t help it. I was taught the proper response to “thank you” is, of course, “you’re welcome.” Yet often the reply is, “thank you for having me,” which leads the original thanker in this case, you, to be in the prickly situation of answering “you’re welcome” back to the person you were originally trying to thank—or just sort of letting the second “thank you” hang out there in the air. It’s unsettling. To me. I can’t speak for anyone else.

TG: Interesting. Well, let’s move on to the interview before we run out of time. I’d first like to ask you, why haven’t you blogged in a over a month?

Me: Well, partly because I’ve been quite busy of late. You see, my husband. . .

TG: I believe you refer to him as “D.” on your blog?

Me: That’s right. You see, D. and I used to run a business together. We did that for five years of the six we’ve lived here in Bellingham. And we worked together for four and a half years before that.

TG: So, doing the math here, you’ve worked together for almost ten years, then? And you’ve only been married, for . . . what, eleven?

Me: Yes, correct. Oh what joy we have known. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in each other’s company. Our very dissimilar communication and management styles only added that extra spice to our marriage that so many couples crave. One day we were “discussing” work and our relationship and the strain it sometimes, well to be honest, often brings to our lives—I believe D. was dodging the plates I was hurling toward his head at the time—and in between ducks he suggested that we maybe ought to think about not working together any more. We decided it would be beneficial to seek another lifestyle—one that fits our personal passions, our yearning to have more control over our time, and our desire to stay married.

TG: So rather than just get a divorce, you, what? Sold your business?

Me: Yes. In hindsight, the divorce might have been simpler. . . and of course, both processes involve lawyers and CPAs and financial planners and mediators. But in the end, we made the right decision after all. We’re very happy that we decided to sell the business.

TG: So you’re glad that’s over with. And now you can start something new. What’s on the horizon?

Me: Well, Terry, I’m going to be a freelance copywriter and also get back to work on my two novels.

TG: Ahhh, yes. The writer in you is coming out. How does that feel?

Me: It is thrilling beyond description.

TG: (Chuckle) Well, if you’re going to be a writer, you might want to work on coming up with one.

Me: Hmph, well, yes I suppose you’re right. Truth is, I used to be so envious of D. because he’s a very gifted and talented musician who has always known beyond a doubt that music is his passion. I have envied countless people who write and talk about their passions, wondering all along what the hell mine was and when it would present itself to me. Then I began writing classes and was soon writing all the time. Writing fiction, writing my blog, writing professionally for advertising. And do you know what, Terry?

TG: Um, no, what?

Me: Just thinking about being a writer full-time—just thinking about it—makes me feel funny inside like riding a roller coaster or falling in love or speaking in front of a large group. Without the nausea. That’s the thrill. And that’s my passion.

TG: Well, that’s great, then. Fabulous. One more thing: I noticed you have no photo on your blog.

Me: Yes, that’s true. You know, when I started blogging I was very naïve. I felt exposed to the whole world. I didn’t want anyone to know my innermost feelings and thoughts. I was embarrassed that I thought anyone could possibly be interested in what I had to say. This was before I decided I didn’t give a rat’s ass what anybody thought. And realized that only about four people on the planet look at my blog. And that they are among the finest human beings out there. They even say nice things about my writing. It took all that silly fear away.

TG: Yes. I see. What does that have to do with the photo? Or the lack thereof?

Me: Well the rest of it is, I was mostly afraid I would be recognized by my staff or a customer. I live in a very small town and being a very public business owner as well made me feel way too naked.

TG: So you felt naked? Can you descibe that?

Me: I was uncomfortable. I was worried someone would find my blog and see what I was saying about my personal life. Or them. Or D. No way did I want any proof that I was connected to that Claire B. person.

TG: Well you are Claire B., right? Or is that a nom de plume?

Me: I love it when you speak French, Terry.

TG: So, what is it?

Me: It’s a pen name, is what it is.

TG: You know, I didn’t think you looked like a Claire. Where did that name come from?

Me: Claire is what my parents almost named me. The B. is for Brennan, my great-grandmother’s maiden name.

TG: I’ll look for that name on the New York Times Best Seller List.

Me: Oh, you do go on! Seriously, though, you should keep your eyes peeled for that.

TG: Well I want to thank you very much for being here.

Me: You’re welcome.

TG: No “thank you for having me?”

Me: Um, no.

TG: So you think we look alike?

Me: Um, again, no.

Terry Gross and Guess Who?

I'm On Mrs. G's Open House Tour!

Mrs. G. of Derfwad Manor had a great idea. Let's everyone

post photos and write about the heart of our homes.

So, come on in . . . or as the little sign in my

mom's kitchen said,

"Come in, sit down, relax, converse.

Our house doesn't always look like this.

Sometimes it's even worse!"

Don't trip over the dust kittens.

The two most expensive window seats in the state of WA.
I had to have 'em.

Aforementioned window seats, the piano,
and the fireplace. Comfy chairs for reading,
plenty of room for people and animals to lay around.
We spend a lot of time here, listening to D. play the
piano. He can play ANYTHING. Dog.

One view of the kitchen. Not quite the
heart of the home. More like the elbow.



I do love my new pot rack.


OMG. The cutest fur family EVER! This is Elica's bed
and the stuffed animals are hers. The real ones are ours.

Summer evening in the Pacific Northwest. Chilly, cloudy.

Flowers trying desperately to conjure up some show.

The good thing about our weather? There's
never a bad time for a nice hot bath.

That's it, folks. A tour from the front door to the back deck. Do come again.

And next time, bring some wine!

Post # 104 Titillating Things About Me

I've noticed other blogs celebrating their number 100 post. Well, I apparently missed mine, so let's just do this now.

How about 104 things you didn't dare to ask and had no idea you could live without knowing about me?

1. I'm a Leo.


2. I'm number 8 of 11 children.


3. I'm the fourth, and final daughter.


4. I have seven brothers (obviously, do the math).


5. I love and adore all of my siblings.


6. My parents are 82 and 81.


7. They've been married for almost 61 years.


8. My mom is older than my dad.


9. All of my sisters married younger men.


10. My husband is 7 years younger than me.


11. My best friend in the world grew up down the street from me.


12. We were born 4 months apart.


13. We've been friends ever since.


14. Even though I once pushed her down the stairs at my house. Ouch.


15. I have been married before.


16. More than once.


17. First one didn't count.


18. I had two miscarriages.


19. They were with husband #2.


20. He was a BIG ASSHOLE.


21. So I'm glad there were no children to raise alone.


22. Not many people know about #16 or #18.


23. The older I get the less that concerns me.


24. I have been married to D. for eleven years.


25. He's the ONE.


26. I had an emergency appendectomy when I was 12.


27. It was ruptured.


28. I almost died.


29. But my parents knew better than to come right out and tell me that back then.


30. I still used my "illness" to get away with all kinds of behavior for several months.


31. Then my parents wouldn't have it anymore.


32. I was quite the drama queen.


33. Stayed that way for many many years.


34. I was a straight A student.


35. Until my junior year of high school.


36. In my senior year they almost kicked me out.


37. And still, no one tried to figure out what was wrong.


38. I was accepted everywhere I applied, but I took a year off before college.


39. And then I decided on a program for Respiratory Therapy.


40. And I hate hospitals.


41. And I pass out cold whenever a needle is within 50 feet of me.


42. I have passed out completely unconscious on an airplane.


43. Twice.


44. You should see the commotion they make when one passes out on a plane.


45. I quit college in the middle of the program.


46. So I could work at the mall.


47. I also worked at 7-11.


48. I smoked cigarettes there.


49. I got fired.


50. Not for smoking.


51. My mother inspired me to get the hell out of Upstate NY.


52. I moved to South Carolina.


53. I continued my career, working for international corporations.


54. They were Pizza Hut and Burger King.


55. Someone there showed me how to avoid ringing up cheeseburgers and to pocket the money.


56. We put it in our shoe instead of our pocket.


57. It was the first time I ever stole anything and I felt too guilty so I stopped.


58. It wasn't Catholic guilt, despite my Catholic upbringing.


59. My previously-mentioned best friend has enough for both of us.


60. And all of you.


61. I used to work for a sporting goods (i.e. guns and crap to go with them) distributor.


62. Turns out I was really good at sales.


63. I had a special chair to signify my status.


64. There was much jealousy.


65. I used to smoke there, too.


66. We would let co-workers buy cigarettes for a nickle if they were out.


67. This was 80's perm and shoulder pad time.


68. I got married.


69. Didn't take.


70. I lost 40 lbs.


71. Soon I took up with THE ASSHOLE.


72. I moved to Virginia.


73. Married him for some unknown reason.


74. Left him after five years, but stayed in Virginia by myself.


75. With my dog.


76. Met some of the best people in my life there.


77. Including D.


78. He asked me how old I was on our first date.


79. Which was to see James Carville and Mary Matalin speak.


80. I was so excited when he asked me to go with him


81. He was so excited that I knew who they were.


82. It was love at first sight.


83. We got married 5 months to the day from that first date.


84. Even though I freaked out a week before and begged him not to marry me.


85. He was undaunted.


86. We lived in a house with a pink and green bathroom.


87. Together, we adopted our second dog, who was three.


88. Among other similarities, our child-rearing philosophies drew us together.


89. And we have no children.


90. Didn't even try.


91. People still tell me "it's not too late."


92. I'm almost forty-six for chrissakes.


93. It IS too late.


94. And that is just fine.


95. People think we don't like kids because we don't have any.


96. I just wonder where all the money we didn't spend on kids is.


97. When my first dog died at 15 1/2, I cried for two years.


98. When my second dog died at 13 1/2, I cried for two months.


99. I don't want it to get easier.


100. Our newest dog is 3.


101. I adore her, too.


102. She was a rescue.


103. I don't believe in buying from breeders.


104. I don't believe in heaven or hell, either.

I could go on. Believe me, there's more. But really, isn't this enough? Thanks for helping me get to number one hundred four, yo!

Summer Solstice Wake Up

The Solstice sun breaks the horizon; instantly, light streams through the crack in the curtains and dream images are interrupted by semi-rational thoughts.

Ugh. Friday. One more day to get through and then it will be Saturday.

Wait.

It IS Saturday.

Is it?

It IS!

Smile. Roll over. Fifteen more days. Just fifteen.

Happy Summer Solstice everyone! Today in Bellingham the sun rose at 5:07 and it will set at 9:17, for 16 hours and 10 minutes of daylight. It will be light outside till almost 10 p.m. Now, if the sun actually pokes through the clouds, all will be right in the world.

The Purpose of this Post is to have Three in May

That's it.

This is a shameless, empty post. It is devoid of humor, substance, and introspection.

In fact, it is devoid of CONTENT.

Devoid is one of my favorite words. My least favorite words are cyst, moist, and irregardless, which all of you know is not a word at all.

I once knew a woman who thought the expression is It never seeks to amaze me.

That's all I have today. Three whopping posts in May. Count 'em.

Back soon. Promise.

Thoughts from a Belgian Bakery

We moved to Bellingham from the east coast five and a half years ago. We wanted the fresh, crisp air, the recreational opportunities, the laid back, liberal atmosphere, and the cultural opportunities we'd have in a college town. And a bakery. Specifically, the Mount Bakery. During our weeks of online research deciding where exactly (more targeted than “as far away from here as possible”) we wanted to move, one of us (can’t remember which) found this little jewel and said to the other, “and there’s a REAL BAKERY! A REAL BAKERY!” and that pretty much sealed the deal.

Have you clicked on the link yet? Do it! Listen to the delightful accordion music and let it transport you to a Parisian sidewalk café. Imagine that you’re lifting a flaky, buttery croissant or pain d’chocolate to your eager mouth. Visualize the crumbs all over your lips and chin. Revel in the orgasmic waves of pleasure that engulf you.

Ahem. Before this becomes a post for an erotica site, I should digress immediately.

I was sitting in the Mount Bakery a couple of weeks ago, awaiting the arrival of my breakfast date. My friend and I meet for breakfast once every month or so. We don’t meet for drinks (she’s a non-drinker) or for lunch or dinner, or for shopping. We don’t visit each other at home. We see our respective spouses at occasional community events. But other than our breakfast dates, we’re not in each other’s lives. And that works for us.

Except for when she forgets and doesn’t show up. Then I have the pleasure of sitting in the café, sipping their delightful organic, fair-trade, shade-grown coffee and just looking around. All alone—just me, my fellow breakfasters and my observations:

• Deep, not-too-bright red and mustardy-goldy yellow is one of my favorite color combinations. Vivid and cheery, with just the right amount of depth. And perfect for a breakfast café (or a fast food hamburger joint, come to think of it). Hmmm . . . would that work in my home office?
  

• Apparently some people in this world actually sit around and eat chocolate croissants on regular, old, average Wednesdays in April. And they don’t look the least bit guilty or worried about it. Imagine that.





• Is there a more beautiful word than creperie? But then, there are patisserie and boulangerie. Ooh, and I also love toile. Why, oh why did I have to be born in New York instead of France?? The injustice.

• I can’t decide whether to be a pastry chef or a brewmistress when I grow up.

Either way, I’m guaranteed to be happy. (And fat. But happy fat.) And I wonder. . . what am I waiting for? Like George Burns said, “I’d rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.”

Isn’t that a delicious way to think?

My Very First Meme

It's not like you can tag yourself, now, can you? So yes, this is my first meme, compliments of Professor J., and I am not about to turn her down. Because she rulz.

When I received her note that she tagged me, I felt like I'd been invited to a birthday party. And I wondered what I should wear. What will the other girls think? Eventually, I picked out a dress and polished my shoes, and I'm ready.

Here are the rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about her or himself.
3. At the end of the post, tag 5-6 people and post their names, then go to their blogs and leave them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.

Question 1: What was I doing ten years ago?
I was living in Virginia and working full-time at a rather conservative financial institution—women had to wear skirts or dresses and hose—except on Fridays, when we could wear pants. I kid you not. I was also in school part-time, in a Professional Writing program. D. and I had just celebrated our first anniversary with a trip to California to visit my sister and her fam. That trip infected us with the West Coast bug. And here we are today.

Question 2: What are five things on my "to do" list today?
1. Finish an article I’ve been working on; deadline is Thursday;
2. Read two Sunday papers;
3. Do a bit of laundry;
4. Take our pooch on a loooong walk;
5. Pretend I’m gardening by walking around the yard, wishing all my new beds were already in place, and then pulling up some morning glory vines—my nemesis for the next several months.

Question 3 (which really is not a question): Snacks I enjoy:
My latest weakness is not cupcakes, but chips and salsa. Trader Joe’s has awesome organic yellow corn chips (only $2.29!) and a totally addictive corn and red pepper salsa that together make the perfect sweet/spicy combo. I am also a crackers-and-cheese fanatic. And I love the Mediterranean hummus at Trader Joe’s, too. I am not much of a sweet or chocolate fiend. I used to eat a lot of pretzels. And SPICE jelly beans. But I've stopped that madness.

Question 4 (Again, not a question, I see a trend here): Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
I would volunteer for and give tons of money to animal and human rights organizations; I would buy a large piece of land and foster old and unwanted dogs; I would start a no-kill shelter (or a bunch of them); I would make sure that all the young ones in my family received all the education they need; I would take classes at the university (whatever I want!); I would work to eradicate AIDS from our planet; I would work to enable women and children in oppressed societies to choose their own life paths; I would take care of my parents forever; and I would use my riches to woo a certain Mr. Depp away from his gorgeous girlfriend in France.

Oh, and buy my own Trader Joe's store.

Prompt 5 (let's call them prompts): Places I have lived:
My Hometown, Elmira, NY; Columbia, SC (hated it); a small town in Virginia that shall remain nameless (read all about it in my book if snowballs freeze in hell and when it's published); Hampton Roads, VA, Bellingham WA.

Prompt 6: Bad Habits:
Nagging my dear sweet husband, eating WAY too fast; not eating as healthfully as I should; not exercising as consistently as I should, not modulating my tone of voice as well as I could, getting really loud sometimes when I drink too much. In other words, being Less Than Perfect.

Prompt 6: Jobs I have had (interesting because I've been writing about them):
Paper girl, grocery store clerk, cafeteria worker, housecleaner, legal secretary, executive assistant, production manager, copywriter, business owner.

Prompt 7: Peeps I want to know more about (or at least peeps I think may be interested in responding):
The rules say ask five or six, but I don't have that many bloggy friends. Perhaps if I had more time to read and comment like I used to. Alas, I'll have to break this rule.

Hay at The Secret Life of Us
Nora B at Whopping Cornbread
Mary Alice at From the Frontlines (although she’s probably way too busy)
Jen at Jen on the Edge (I don’t even know her—I’m stretching here. What if she HATES memes?)

I really do want to know you women better, because I love your blogs.

This was fun! Thanks, Professor J!