Thursday, December 21, 2006

Local News: Woman Dismembered by Boyfriend; Holiday Stress; CIA in Your Neighborhood?

Recently, a woman in a nearby town was killed by her boyfriend, who has a black belt in martial arts and an affinity for edged weapons, according to the police spokesman. This leads them to believe she was dismembered. She's (was) thirty-three. This is all I know of her. The police won't say whether they found her body, but they did find a number of disturbing items. What is more disturbing than a dismembered body?

An acquaintance remarked he had to attend a funeral yesterday. The deceased was the husband of an employee. He had been ill and when she got home from work, he was dead on the floor. And so close to Christmas! But wait--there's more! Her first husband dropped dead on Easter Sunday. Holidays on Ice.

Our neighbors thought we worked for a certain secret government agency because a) we moved here from Virginia and b) we didn't have jobs when we arrived. Thus, we were qualified to be secret agents. Do secret agents eat Thanksgiving dinner on the floor because their furniture is being held hostage by the moving company? I think not. Don't their powerful connections make telephone calls and arrange covert rescue operations?

Large dogs and fat cats are the best.

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