How about 104 things you didn't dare to ask and had no idea you could live without knowing about me?
- I'm a Leo.
- I'm number 8 of 11 children.
- I'm the fourth, and final daughter.
- I have seven brothers (obviously, do the math).
- I love and adore all of my siblings.
- My parents are 82 and 81.
- They've been married for almost 61 years.
- My mom is older than my dad.
- All of my sisters married younger men.
- My husband is 7 years younger than me.
- My best friend in the world grew up down the street from me.
- We were born 4 months apart.
- We've been friends ever since.
- Even though I once pushed her down the stairs at my house. Ouch.
- I have been married before.
- More than once.
- First one didn't count.
- I had two miscarriages.
- They were with husband #2.
- He was a BIG ASSHOLE.
- So I'm glad there were no children to raise alone.
- Not many people know about #16 or #18.
- The older I get the less that concerns me.
- I have been married to D. for eleven years.
- He's the ONE.
- I had an emergency appendectomy when I was 12.
- It was ruptured.
- I almost died.
- But my parents knew better than to come right out and tell me that back then.
- I still used my "illness" to get away with all kinds of behavior for several months.
- Then my parents wouldn't have it anymore.
- I was quite the drama queen.
- Stayed that way for many many years.
- I was a straight A student.
- Until my junior year of high school.
- In my senior year they almost kicked me out.
- And still, no one tried to figure out what was wrong.
- I was accepted everywhere I applied, but I took a year off before college.
- And then I decided on a program for Respiratory Therapy.
- And I hate hospitals.
- And I pass out cold whenever a needle is within 50 feet of me.
- I have passed out completely unconscious on an airplane.
- Twice.
- You should see the commotion they make when one passes out on a plane.
- I quit college in the middle of the program.
- So I could work at the mall.
- I also worked at 7-11.
- I smoked cigarettes there.
- I got fired.
- Not for smoking.
- My mother inspired me to get the hell out of Upstate NY.
- I moved to South Carolina.
- I continued my career, working for international corporations.
- They were Pizza Hut and Burger King.
- Someone there showed me how to avoid ringing up cheeseburgers and to pocket the money.
- We put it in our shoe instead of our pocket.
- It was the first time I ever stole anything and I felt too guilty so I stopped.
- It wasn't Catholic guilt, despite my Catholic upbringing.
- My previously-mentioned best friend has enough for both of us.
- And all of you.
- I used to work for a sporting goods (i.e. guns and crap to go with them) distributor.
- Turns out I was really good at sales.
- I had a special chair to signify my status.
- There was much jealousy.
- I used to smoke there, too.
- We would let co-workers buy cigarettes for a nickle if they were out.
- This was 80's perm and shoulder pad time.
- I got married.
- Didn't take.
- I lost 40 lbs.
- Soon I took up with THE ASSHOLE.
- I moved to Virginia.
- Married him for some unknown reason.
- Left him after five years, but stayed in Virginia by myself.
- With my dog.
- Met some of the best people in my life there.
- Including D.
- He asked me how old I was on our first date.
- Which was to see James Carville and Mary Matalin speak.
- I was so excited when he asked me to go with him
- He was so excited that I knew who they were.
- It was love at first sight.
- We got married 5 months to the day from that first date.
- Even though I freaked out a week before and begged him not to marry me.
- He was undaunted.
- We lived in a house with a pink and green bathroom.
- Together, we adopted our second dog, who was three.
- Among other similarities, our child-rearing philosophies drew us together.
- And we have no children.
- Didn't even try.
- People still tell me "it's not too late."
- I'm almost forty-six for chrissakes.
- It IS too late.
- And that is just fine.
- People think we don't like kids because we don't have any.
- I just wonder where all the money we didn't spend on kids is.
- When my first dog died at 15 1/2, I cried for two years.
- When my second dog died at 13 1/2, I cried for two months.
- I don't want it to get easier.
- Our newest dog is 3.
- I adore her, too.
- She was a rescue.
- I don't believe in buying from breeders.
- I don't believe in heaven or hell, either.
I could go on. Believe me, there's more. But really, isn't this enough? Thanks for helping me get to number one hundred four, yo!
6 comments:
WOW, That was awesome. So revealing. And funny. And sad. And surprising. Fantastic post!
....and poetic
I'm new here- I liked the way Claire B. sounded and figured you might be interesting. And you are!!
I could have read 304 things about you and still asked for more!
I'm adding you to my reader. :-)
James Carville and Mary Matalin? Sigh. THAT is my idea of a perfect date too! Does that make us big dorks? I mean nerds.
COOL POST! I loved it. I am way uncool- don't know who James Carville and Mary Matalin are.
I could've read lots more too!
#96 made me laugh so hard my daughter came in to see what was so darned funny. Thank you.
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