Monday, August 20, 2007

Loyalty? What Loyalty?

You know it's going to be a bad Monday when a key employee walks into your office first thing in the morning.

"I need to talk to you guys."

I heard the rest of your announcement about taking another job, but what's going through my mind is "Oh how shocking. Do you really think that we didn't know you were interviewing on Friday when you actually dressed decently for a change and took an extra-long lunch to take your mom out for lunch to cheer her up?" Nice lying, by the way. You almost convinced us that you were really doing just that.

Now, we realize that new opportunities come up. And we want only the best for the people who work here. And when it's time to move on, we expect that all will eventually do that. But guess what? Quitting after six months is shitty! People with decent upbringings and who possess a moral or two might consider doing the right thing and staying with good, fair employers who pay more than a living wage PLUS 100% of your health, dental and vision insurance, PLUS regular bonuses for doing a good job and who GAVE UP A SATURDAY IN JULY TO HELP YOU MOVE TO YOUR THIRD FLOOR APARTMENT. Hello? That alone is worth another six months!

You know the apartment about which I speak. It's the one where you got to take your against-the-rules dog whom you got to keep because we know the apartement manager and he loves us. It's the one where you didn't have to pay another pet deposit because we know the manager and he loves us.

When someone leaves after only six months, we might as well take thousands of dollars out of the pockets of all of us and throw it out the window. Don't you get that?

Effin' employees.

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