Saturday, January 5, 2008

Bugs in the Food, Part II (Lunch Spoiler Alert)

Oh, good Christ. This was in D.'s sandwich just now, dead from either the freezer, microwave or broiler. The poor thing didn't stand a chance of surviving that triple-whammy. Luckily, he found it before he ate it. After a "What the. . ." he put it in a tissue and brought it to me. My ohmygod ewwwww get that thing away from me!!!! reaction could not be described as kind, as I had resolved to be, but neither was it profoundly bitchy or sarcastic, so I gave myself a pass.

I do not like this particularly crunchy-looking insect at all, particularly its pincer parts. What do they DO with those, anyway? Must go to Wikipedia and see.

How did it get into a sandwich in our house? I'll tell you my theory: D.'s favorite bread in all the land is a seeded baguette made by a local bakery. It is perfect in every way, crusty outside, light inside and covered with poppy, sesame, and caraway seeds. Or are they fennel? No matter, they're spicy good. Now, you'll recall our bug-infested jumbo shells from Christmas weekend. Is it a mere coincidence that said local bakery sells their breads in that SAME grocery store? I daresay it is not, but a deliberate plan to keep me from shopping there ever again; indeed, to keep me from supporting a local (albeit huge corporate Republican type) company and to force me to continue my new love affair with Trader Joe's!

If only all my problems were this. . . well, tiny and insignifcant. But why focus on the big issues, when the wind is howling outside, our animals are safe and secure and at our feet inside, and all of our needs: shelter, water, companionship, books, tea, cute eyeglasses and plenty of (bug-filled) food are met? Life is good today in the House of Earwhig Earwig (thanks, Melanie!).


Anonymous said...

I have been terrified of earwigs since I was and kid and people would say they crawl into your ears and eat your brains! I've never recovered, I think I may have died on the spot if I had found one in my lunch! Hay :)
P.S. Thanks for the message to NG, she has replied.

Nora Bee said...

Wow, that is quite a specimen. Yuck! And that was some wind, eh?

Claire B. said...

Hi Hay,
I had heard that earwhigs crawled into you ear and laid eggs in your brains! They're AWFUL.

NG is a delight!

Hi Nora Bee,
THe wind is STILL going strong! The ginormus pine tree next door is dancing like crazy.

Mrs. G. said...

Me thinks that we eat way more of these things than we think. Am I really going to be the FIRST to point out it tastes like chicken. Yes, yes I am.

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...



Melanie said...

Oh, do I hate me some earwigs. (Is it whigs, though? Like the political party?)

Those little bastards, slick and dark and evil with their little pinchers, start invading our home every summer.

I always find them in my magazines, which is handy for instant smashing.


Professor J said...

eww, eww, eww. I am thinking Trader Joe's sounds better and better.

Claire B. said...

Duh! It is earwig, not whig. i yoozed too spel reel gud.

Chicken? Really?

Mary Alice said...

Gosh I don't think I've seen an earwig since I left the West Coast...gosh you have made me all sentimental. Actually as I recall they seemed to be driven in doors during bad rainy spells.

Claire B. said...

So glad I helped those memories bubble up!