Sunday, January 27, 2008

A Long-Targeted Goal—Achieved At Last!

I’m so pleased to announce that we’ve done it. Finally, it has happened, just yesterday, in fact—and we couldn’t be prouder or more excited. After many years of trying—and failing miserably (but thankfully not enough to dampen our enthusiasm for trying again), D. and I, together, achieved the unattainable, the unreachable, the heretofore seemingly impossible!

And not a moment too soon, let me tell you. Who knows how much longer we would have had the energy to keep trying? I shudder to think that yesterday’s successful event might not have come to fruition, due to our all but complete and utter exhaustion, not to mention our near-inability to face another round of bitter disappointment.

Oh, the reminders of our failure were everywhere. We saw it in the movies and on television. We read about it on the covers of women’s sex self—improvement magazines in the grocery store check-out line. We took the quizzes and analyzed our results. There was no apparent reason for our constant malfunction. We approached each attempt strategically, even practiced our technique, to time it correctly, to go slowly, to move carefully, and yet—our goal eluded us again and again. And oh! the self-pity! as we constantly heard of other couples’ success, listening glumly as they smugly described how effortlessly they attained that pinnacle of couplehood, about which we could only dream. Were they more worthy, more deserving, somehow better than we? What is wrong with us? we lamented.

But no more! The raw envy, constant disappointment, and bitter frustration we suffered for all those years are now locked in the past, behind the wall that threatened to contain us for the rest of our married life. At last, we are no longer defined by failure. We have done it.

Success! It is ours, and it tastes so sweet!












We made it in and out of Target for less than one hundred dollars. First time ever.


11 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

OK, I'll admit that you had me for a moment...I was getting a little excited to find out what the achievement was. I am so happy for you. I have not been so fortunate. Funny, funny post.

hippyhappyhay said...

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!
At first I thought baby!?!
Then I thought, um, or..sm.
Never had that in mind though, well done you two!!!!

Professor J said...

I am so very, very proud of you. Today I made it out of Costco for under a hundred dollars, but Susan spent over one hundred, so perhaps it doesn't count.

carymc said...

Congrats.. but guess what.. you'll be going back tomorrow for all the shit you forgot. Like that X-Box 360.

anne said...

Congratulations! I have yet to get myself to a Target store as the closest one is about an hour's drive away and near so many other stores that I always end up in fist. But someday...

Thanks for visiting my blog and the nice comment.

I noticed in your profile that you like Hem and Patty Griffin - two of my favorites also. Have you ever checked out The Be Good Tanyas or Po' Girl? They are worth a look.

Claire B. said...

Mrs G, you were working on the Viggo post and THIS made you a little excited?! I suspect you're just being nice, but thank you!

Oh, carymc, silly you! You're assuming I even know how to SPELL X Box 360, much less use one. That and the WEEEEE I've heard so much about? Clueless, I am.

Professor J., Target may be within reach, but Costco under a hundred? No freakin' way. My hat is off to you.

And Hay, I was hoping someone would go where my mind was going. But not babe-land, for sure!

Thanks for stopping by Anne--I know I've heard BGT but I'm going to look them up again. They are popular here, since we're just 50 miles from Vancouver, BC. And I'm sorry your nearest Target is so far away. That would kill me dead.

Queeny said...

Suh-weet Success! That's awesome. I could never achieve that goal if my husband were shopping with me, especially not at Target.

Jan said...

Yeah, tencity pays off. I know it was hard work

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

Congrats! I know that's a tough thing to do. I get SO excited when I make it out under $100 - under $50 is shocking.

Claire B. said...

I have been visited by the Queen! Welcome, Your Majesty.

And hello to Jan and a whole lot of nothing! I've been to both your sites and me likey what me sees!

Nora Bee said...

Woo-hoo! I understand, totally get it, how this is a major accomplishment.